Sermon: Parting Words

Parting Words

Romans 5:1-5; Psalm 8; St. John 16:12-15

A Sermon Prepared and Delivered by James E. Norton, Guest Preacher

Vance Memorial United Presbyterian Church, Wheeling, WV

Trinity/Memorial Sunday, May 26, 2013

 

Doris, a beloved mother and grandmother, was in the hospital when suddenly her situation deteriorated rapidly, and the family was called in to be with her.  Sometimes we find it very difficult to accept what is happening to our loved ones.  During that critical time, family members were encouraging her to eat, but she just didn’t feel like it.  One of the family even said, “You made us eat all the time!” as if to suggest it was okay to do the same to her.  As loving families are wont to do, they were trying to stave off the inevitable, fussing over their Mom.  Finally, Doris had had enough and she shouted, “Sit Down and Shut Up!”  They did.  And a few hours later, she quietly slipped away, without saying another word.

Ancient Church tradition says that when a person is in extremis or dying, it’s very important to pay close attention to what he or she says, because in that stage of life it was believed that the individual was as close to God as one can be on this side of life.

Often we recall the last words spoken after a loved-one has died.  A man perhaps known to some of you, Dr. Bill Roberts, a Teaching Elder and official for many years in your own Presbytery, was friend, colleague, mentor, more like a brother really, to me.  The last words I heard him say the last time I saw him were: “You have been a good friend, Jim.”  Do you think I will ever forget those words?  No doubt, in the aftermath of the Oklahoma Tornado or the Sandy Hook shootings or Hurricane Sandy, loved ones of those who lost their lives have been reliving the moments shared and the words spoken before the tragic parting.  This Memorial Day week-end, set apart to honor those who have died in military service, likewise, will evoke cherished memories of final moments spent with the departed.

The Gospel Lessons in the worship services of most of our churches for the past five weeks have been coming from that portion of John’s Gospel known as the Farewell Discourse.  Jesus is in the Upper Room with his disciples sharing a Last Supper.  Jesus spends this time expressing his heartfelt hopes and prayers for his closest companions before he dies.  He assures them that everything will be okay and that while they too will face times of suffering, they will never be without God’s abiding presence and care.  The Spirit of Jesus will continue to be as close to them as their very breathing, strengthening them in the knowledge that they will always be in God’s good hands.

This morning’s portion of Jesus’ parting words to his disciples includes this line: “I have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.”  Jesus knows that his followers will face new situations in the future and new tests of their faith that will require from them new ways of thinking and doing that they cannot possibly imagine in the present.  There will be things happen that Jesus cannot prepare them for ahead of time.  Jesus can teach the disciples nothing more.  He must let go of them and let them go in the hope that after he is gone, the Spirit will live on in them to lead them in ways of truth throughout the changing circumstances of their lives.

If only things didn’t have to change; if only everything could remain just the way it always has been.  No sooner does that yearning cross our minds than we realize how ridiculous it is.  Life moves on!  There is no way to stop time and space from their relentless rhythms of light and dark, joy and pain, good and bad.  Rather, we face the future with its wide range of possibilities in the hope that God’s sovereign presence is always for us and with us.  “I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.”  But when you come up against it in the days to come, you will learn what you need to know in a way that will enable you to respond as Christ did, courageously and graciously.

I am not dead, obviously, or I would not be standing here.  So my parting words have yet to be uttered.  But, in a sense, we all die many deaths before the last one.  Recently, I retired after 46 years of serving congregations as pastor.  That’s a kind of death, though in all honesty, retirement feels like I’ve died and gone to heaven.  Life among heaven’s people on earth is not always heavenly.  Indeed, my very first church as a student pastor began the second semester of my first year at West Liberty.  There was a woman in that small congregation whose name was Clara and whose mission in life seemed to be as troublesome to fledgling student pastors sent to serve her church as she could be.  Not since those days of serving that first church has anyone ever tested my right to be a pastor in ways that she didn’t think of first.  Complaining, condemning and caviling Clara was my epithet for her personality.

But one Sunday I arrived at the church earlier than usual and Sister Clara was the only other person there.  Surprisingly, the two of us somehow found ourselves in one of those rare conversations where the tone was decent and non-disparaging.  It was then that Clara revealed a part of her story that I never knew.  Her son was killed in the Korean Conflict and in listening to her story what really stunned me was how she described her reaction the day she received the dreaded news: “Killed in Action.”  She proudly stated: “From that day to this, I have never shed a single tear over my son’s death.”  Intuitively, I learned an invaluable lesson.  When people are being particularly aggravating, often their announced reasons are not the real reasons, and their so-called righteous indignation or other grievances may have more to do with more deeply imbedded issues.

Well, that was my first exposure to life as a pastor.  One would think that the sane thing to have done after that would have been to drop this whole ministry idea.  But then, there was the prospect of going to seminary, and surely after completing seminary things would be different.  Graduating from a reputable school of theology would convince people that I had earned the right to be their pastor, and there would be no obstacles once I had obtained my credentials.  Then ministry would be one grand procession marching onward and upward, and life in the church would be like basking in love, love, love.

Do I need to tell you that all 46 years in the ministry have included obstacles, failures, shattered dreams, misunderstandings, unjust accusations and even threats of bodily harm?  To be sure, there have been the other kinds of experiences as well—genuinely good times of mutual sharing, wondrous conversations, meaningful worship, heightened awareness, life-changing growth and heart-warming laughter; times when my sense of calling was confirmed and I knew that significant differences were taking place.  Had I known, however, when I began in the ministry that there would be the kinds of contentions and disappointments that have also been a part of the reality, I might have looked for some other way to fulfill my sense of calling.  So, Jesus’ words, “I have yet other things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now,” make sense.

And, thank goodness, at those times when the way was unclear and the difficulties hard to bear, there was my wife, Polly, or a trusted colleague in ministry (one of whom is present in this very worship service), or a caring member of the congregation gently tapping me on the shoulder and out of care speaking some suggestion or offering some encouragement or other word that pointed me in another direction.  Because the spirit of Jesus was present in others, I could hear and follow their suggestions to cut my losses or adapt or shift gears or forgive or exercise greater courage than ever before.  What I wasn’t prepared to hear before, I could do so now.  It came at those points where I desperately needed to know, and God’s modern-day messengers provided the new ways of seeing and acting that before I hadn’t imagined possible.

Jesus was close to the disciples; God grants us the gift of close companions in our lives.  But the day comes when we have to let go.  The time came when Jesus realized that he had to let go of his closest companions and that there was nothing more he could teach them.  And that day necessarily comes to us all, whether we move away or retire or bid farewell to loved ones in death.

“Sit Down and Shut Up!” was the outburst of one woman who knew there was nothing more she could do or that others could do for her.  The time had come when all that could be done was to sit still and simply be present.  Doris was absolutely correct.  Her final word says that when all else is finished, silence and loving presence are all that is needed.  And the affirmation of our faith is that we are always surrounded by that kind of love.  Thanks be to God.

Morning Prayer

For genuine gratitude for all the ways we experience life’s goodness because of one another, whether family or friends, through the miracle of dialog, the touch of flesh upon flesh, the gracious gifts of warmth and care, mutuality and intimacy,

  God hear our prayer: AND IN YOUR LOVE ANSWER.

For all who suffer from hunger and neglect, for refugees and those who are homeless, for children who do not know what it is to be loved, for those who suffer because of the insanity of war, for unemployed and underemployed persons, for those who are uncertain and apprehensive about the future, for those afflicted with illness and pain,

  God hear our prayer: AND IN YOUR LOVE ANSWER.

For the dear friends and family members whose faces we see no more, but whose love is with us forever; for those in the military, for first responders, and for all who have sacrificed themselves, our brothers and sisters who have given their lives for the sake of others,

  God hear our prayer: AND IN YOUR LOVE ANSWER.

For ourselves as we are forever crossing the boundary between endings and beginnings, that we may enter what is to come with thanks for all that has been, the joys and pains woven into our life together, and that whatever our fears and uncertainties about the future, we may know that we can face each new day confident that your strengthening presence is always with us and for us, and that we will know what we need to know when the time is right,

  God hear our prayer: AND IN YOUR LOVE ANSWER.