NOTE: As I explained when beginning blogging, the hope in these pages is to reflect as honestly as possible on ideas, concerns and situations as they seem significant to this parson in his retirement years. Recently realizing that even funeral services I'm sometimes asked to conduct may reflect how my thinking is or is not changing, it seems fitting to include such public communications here. While few people will find this blog, let alone read it, and even though when I'm gone it likely will be shelved in the deepest recesses of cyberspace, it provides the illusory sense, at least, that dialog is possible. Indeed, whenever I take time to write in this venue, I always imagine individuals, past and present, in my life who may be looking over my shoulder, and that is a very comfortable feeling. So, whether you're there or not, thanks for the qualities in your lives that make me wish you were here.
The funeral service below was conducted on 8/21/12.
Jim N.
A Memorial Service for
SANDY BISH MARKLEY KERENS
SONG: “Sissy Song”
OPENING SCRIPTURE SENTENCES
GREETING & PRAYER
PRAYER OF OUR SAVIOR
OLD TESTAMENT READINGS
Psalm 121
Selected portions of
Proverbs 31
NEW TESTAMENT READINGS
Selected portions of Romans 8
SONG: “I’ll Fly Away”
Sung by Sandy's Grandson, Craig DeBastiani
MEDITATION (Printed below)
HYMN: “Hymn of Promise”
PRAYER
SONG: “Go Rest High on the Mountain”
We gather this morning, our hearts heavy with grief, but more importantly, our hearts full of love. A woman who has touched the lives of so many people has died, and we are here because we want to commemorate, to pay profound respect, and to celebrate her life, for she was a good wife, a good mother, a good grandmother, a good sister, a good aunt, and a very good neighbor and friend.
The
days, weeks, months and years ahead will, no doubt, be filled with many
wonderful stories about the times of happiness shared with Sandy: her deep
devotion to her husband and family, how, even in the midst of life’s struggles,
she knew honest delight and true affection in the moments she spent with the
persons closest to her. Those who knew
Sandy as friend and neighbor will recall as well the many instances of
faithfulness in friendship. She was
kind-hearted, good, and true, or as one of her neighbors put it, “That girl was
all heart!”
Many
qualities come to mind when we think of Sandy.
I’ve been told that she was an organizer and detail person of the
highest order. As a youngster, not yet a
teenager, she went to work babysitting for families in the neighborhood, and
gained quite a reputation in that line of work.
Perhaps, her popularity as a babysitter had something to do with the
fact after putting the kids to bed, she would clean the houses of those who
employed her. One member of the family
called her a “neat freak.”
Some
in her family during the early years may not have always appreciated her
attention to detail and neatness. Her
brother Buck as a young lad shared none of Sandy’s inclination to keep things
in their place, and Sandy often in her endless attempt to restore order
(perhaps partly in retaliation), would rearrange the furniture in the bedroom
Buck and Jack shared. Eventually, when
coming home late, Buck learned to turn on the light and look before plopping
into bed.
Sandy’s organizational skills learned
early in life stayed with her throughout life, and most of the time Sandy used
those skills to attend to and arrange for the welfare and joy of others. As the obituary in the newspaper pointed out,
when Sandy learned that an individual or family was going through some
difficulty, invariably Sandy would show up, not with some store-bought meat or
vegetable platter, but with an entire meal cooked completely from scratch and,
as the paper put it, “she was a most welcome sight at those times.” This was not something she did occasionally here
and there, but as many of you are well aware, she did it hundreds of times.
That same practical concern for the
needs of others, so much a part of Sandy’s personality, also came into play
when she worked in the Assessor’s Office.
Sandy’s special concern for the elderly and the disabled led her to be
sure that such persons received every consideration due them when determining
property taxes. If she learned of senior
or handicapped citizens who were not taking advantage of the Homestead
Exemption, she wouldn’t just call them to advise them of a way to lower their
tax burden, she gathered up the papers they needed to fill-out, and went
directly to their homes to get them signed up.
County Commissioners may not have appreciated her fervor in lowering the
tax base, but from her perspective, the needs of individuals, particularly the
less blessed among us, far outweighed the requirements of corporate
structures. (She probably would not have
agreed that corporations are people.) Many
are the ways Sandy employed her organizational abilities for the sake of others
helping to provide a safety net of care and protection.
Sandy’s home was always a gathering
place. It was a popular hang-out for
kids in the neighborhood when her children were young, and it was the same for
everyone else who showed up. Sandy’s
grandchildren, Craig and Jamie, speak glowingly of the warmth and acceptance
that they have always found at their grandparents’ home. Craig, who played and sang one of Sandy’s
favorite songs earlier in this service, attributes his beginning to take up the
guitar at a very early age to Stanley’s influence, a grandfather whom he calls
“Pappy.” And Jamie indicates what a
blessing it has been because of the many serious, heart-to-heart conversations
with her grandmother around the kitchen counter. How utterly important it is to know there is
a place where you can go, and there will always be a loving embrace and a
listening ear. Sandy’s daughter-in-law,
Becky, also reports deep gratitude for her adoptive mother by marriage, so much
so that when it came time to find additional help as Sandy’s illness grew
worse, Becky, without a moment’s hesitation, moved in and stayed with Sandy and
Stanley to help out these last several months.
That really isn’t surprising, is it? Just as Sandy used her abilities to do the
best she could for others, in her time of declining health, she too was
surrounded by love: a loving husband, son and daughter-in-law, grandchildren,
brother and many others, not out of some sense of duty, but willingly out of
love. As she had been a gracious
presence to others, her spirit was lifted by the touch of others. It only makes sense that those who knew and
loved Sandy would respond the same way she did.
It is not good that Sandy suffered;
it is not good that she died. But it is
good that she lived, and we can be grateful even now, not only because her
suffering over, but because our lives are so much richer for having known her,
her deep compassion and joy, and also because she is now free to move on in
whatever wonders of life await her.
Christians have always believed in
life after life, but such faith up until lately has been difficult to square
with our knowledge of the universe. Some
very fascinating discoveries in recent years, however, in science and medicine
are tending to affirm what Christians have always believed, namely, that life
does not end, but merely continues on into other dimensions. Not only the evidence from the medical
community reporting on persons who have had near death experiences, all of
which have similar characteristics, but other fields of science having to do
with sub-atomic particles, suggest that we are comprised of elements that never
die.
Recall the three words that Steve
Jobs spoke as he died, “Wow, wow, wow!”?
Might it just be that who each of us really is—the very essence of who
we are, the kernel of our lives after the chaff has been blown away, the
protons, neutrons and photons that are the building blocks of our bodies, that
there are elements of our lives that continue, and that those already dead
continue to be as close to us as we are to one another, maybe even closer? How often we have heard people comment that
in trying times they have felt the abiding nearness of their loved ones upholding
them and giving them strength? Might it
be that Sandy is present right now and always will be, no longer living in
pain, but urging us to move on toward the same spirit of kindness and
compassion she herself lived? Perhaps
even now Sandy is calling to us and saying, “Don’t worry. Everything is fine!”
PRAYER
Gracious
God of love, we offer thanks for the goodness we have witnessed in the life of
Sandy Bish Markley Kerens. The years
slip through our minds like minutes when we think of her, and remembering the
days we have had with her, we thank you for the many blessings we received
because of knowing her as wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, neighbor and
friend. For her love of her family, her
faithfulness in relationships and her care for others; for the delight she
derived from starting in September to bake cheese cakes to freeze and then give
away at Christmastime; for her wonderful wit and sense of humor, for her avid
interest in politics and her loyalty to the Pittsburgh Pirates; and for those
times of trouble when her family and friends could share her burdens and ease
her pain—these thoughts and memories are precious to us, O God, and we speak
our gratitude for the life we have shared with Sandy.
We
would that she might still be with us on the earth, O God, but not if she could
not be healthy. We would that she might
still be with us on the earth, O God, but not if she could not be happy. We would that she might still be with us on
the earth, O God, but not if she could not be free to do the things she liked
to do and to walk the ways she loved to walk.
So we give her back to You, who gave her to us, in the confidence that
she is safe in your eternal care and that her spirit is freed to continue to be
“all heart.” Amen.
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