When the service was over, I was impressed at how beautifully
it flowed together. That was mostly
because of a truly cohesive spirit among all the family members, which were numerous.
There were many touching moments during
the service; one that “got to me” occurred when a grandson, perhaps 11 or 12
years old, tried to read a statement he had written about his grandmother, but
broke down. His mother came to his side
and held on to him as she finished reading the statement.
Three considerations were uppermost in my thinking as, later
that night after Elizabeth and I had met to plan, the task of framing a meditation
began. The first was easy: since various
family members gladly accepted responsibility for recalling stories about Peg,
there would be little need for me in the meditation to echo what they were far
more able to say. The second was equally
easy: since several family members would be taking part, thereby extending the
time the service would take, I probably needed to be as brief as possible in my
meditation. The third, however, was more
difficult: since this is a family of wide divergence, especially in their
various careers, some in medicine, others in business, etc., it might be well
to veer away from traditional heaven-talk.
No doubt, they would have been okay with the expression of traditional
“heavenly” language, but I couldn’t ignore my own inward nagging intuitions
about doing so. As preachers, we often
rely on what “preachers are supposed to say at funerals,” rather than work
toward what might be more authentic expressions of what we believe. Probably most people could care less. But I just couldn’t bring myself to head in the
traditional direction. So the meditation
below is the result of my internal struggle.
It would be nice to receive your feedback.
Peg Shaver
We are
brought together this afternoon by those elemental forces that touch human
life. Though we come from many walks of
life and some of us from far-away places, we assemble here willingly out of
love, because of one who has touched our lives, and because she died and left
us. We come to commemorate, to pay
profound respect, and to celebrate this woman, Peg Shaver, for she was a good
wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister-in-law, aunt, neighbor and
friend.
We have
heard and our hearts have been stirred by the kinds of recollections
communicated by Elizabeth, Mark and other family members, as well as many other
stories about Peg we have shared with one another in the last few days. We are unanimous in our appreciation of Peg’s
deep devotion to her family, the delight she experienced with you, her family,
and how, no matter what, she knew unparalleled joy in the moments she spent
with each of you. We are also well
aware of her loyalty to her friends and the camaraderie she derived from
companionship with others. She was a
kind-hearted, good person, and what better epitaph can be inscribed about
anyone than that?
Her more
recent years, sadly, were filled with suffering. If memory serves, it began with a surgical
procedure that was followed by an extended period of unrelenting pain, and
despite the finest medical help available, things seemed to continue on a
downward spiral. With advancing age
comes increasing inability of our bodies to heal. And that can lead to emotions ranging from
discouragement to outright exasperation and despair. Life can be very hard, indeed.
But even
in the midst of such harsh realities, Peg was never without continual signs of
care and love. Her husband, Otis, was
her constant companion and helper through it all; family members and friends
regularly checked on her and did what they could to help. She was surrounded by many signs of gracious
presence, and many are the moments her spirit was lifted by the touch of
others.
So there
is ample reason to celebrate: the compassion and joy we have known in Peg and
the happiness she experienced with her family members and friends. Our lives are so much richer for having known
her. We can even rejoice because finally
her suffering is over and Peg’s spirit is set free to move on in whatever
wonders of life await her.
The
author of the reading from Revelation speaks of a realm where there will be no
more tears, no more mourning and crying and pain and death. Sometimes, in a world where science and
traditional Christian understandings seem to come into conflict, it’s difficult
to have faith in anything beyond what we can see, hear, touch, smell, or
taste. But some very fascinating
scientific discoveries in recent years tend to affirm what Christians have
always believed, namely, that life does not end, but merely continues on into
other dimensions. Not only the evidence
gathered from the medical community reporting on persons who have had near
death experiences, all of which have similar features, but other fields of
science having to do with sub-atomic particles, suggest that we are comprised
of elements that never die.
Science
is discovering ways in which who we are may simply move on to other levels of
existence. It may be that who each of us
really is—the very essence of who we are, the kernel of our lives after the
chaff has been blown away—continues, and that those already dead continue to be
as close to us as we are to one another, maybe even closer. How often have we heard people comment that
in trying times they have felt the abiding nearness of their loved ones
upholding them and giving them strength?
Might it be that Peg is present right now and always will be, no longer
living in pain, but urging us to move on toward the same spirit of kindness and
compassion she herself lived?
Several
times while our family lived in Pleasant Valley, we were invited to Otis and
Peg’s house for a swimming party and picnic.
When we’d arrive and make our way to the back yard, Peg would already be
in the pool waving us on, saying something like “Come on in, the water’s
fine.” Peg loved that pool in the back
yard, and no doubt, she had some of the best times of her life playing with
many of you in the water. The scriptures
speak of being led beside the still waters and springs of the water of
life. Could it be that even now, Peg is
calling to us and saying, “Come on in, the water’s fine?”
PRAYER
Gracious
God of love, we offer thanks for the goodness we have witnessed in the life of
Peggy Ann Shaver. The years slip through
our minds like minutes when we think of her, and remembering the days we have
had with her, we thank you for the many blessings we received because of
knowing her as wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister-in-law,
aunt, neighbor and friend. For her love
of her family, her faithfulness in relationships and her care for others; for
the delight she derived from simple pleasures; for the times when her family
and friends could share her burdens and ease her pain in times of troubled
waters—these thoughts and memories are precious to us, O God, and we speak our
gratitude for all that we have shared with Peg.
Help us,
O God, to know that Peg is safe now in your eternal care, that the waters no
longer rage but are forever calm and still in your loving embrace, and that her
spirit is freed for moving on swimmingly.
Amen.
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