Christmas Letter 2011

Every year, inserted in some of the Christmas greetings our family receives from friends and relatives are letters enumerating the senders’ activities, accomplishments, illnesses, and other significant vicissitudes of the preceding year. While I enjoy the chance to catch-up with what’s happening in the lives of these companions, I have never felt the need to reciprocate with such letters myself. Until now. (Microsoft Word is trying to tell me that the preceding sentence is not a sentence—yes, you confounded machine I know it’s a fragment, but I’m not going to change it, so there!) Where was I? Oh, yeah. Somehow there is an urge this year to let others know “how goes it,” and at the same time send Christmas greetings.

The most recent change for our family and many others in our region is the departure of one of the most exceptional pastors we have known. Josh Patty was for the last four years pastor of the church Polly and I attended, and his intellect, passion and faithfulness to the Gospel are rare commodities among clergy these days. I can make that claim because for most of my 46 years in pastoral ministry, a major chunk of my time was spent working with candidates for Ordained Ministry. Suffice it to say that (in my view) the trend toward dumbing-down is epidemic in Christian ministry and, unfortunately, it seems that most congregations prefer “nice” pastors who settle-in with the preferences and prejudices of the congregants (or as psychologists might say, pastors who are co-dependent), rather than pastors who are competent and capable to provide fruitful leadership.

Now, how is such a stinging observation appropriate for a “Christmas Letter”? Most of these letters simply report the preceding year’s happenings and conclude with Christmas blessings for the readers. Why include opinions about events, coloring them not in seasonal reds and greens, but in more of a wintry grey?

A colleague and friend who is a professor at a very prestigious university school of theology hints at a clue. Often, she has spoken of how the odious facts of life can be “altared” (misspelling deliberate) into realities more akin to divine purposes. A peasant baby is born in a filthy barn, which could be a metaphor for the smelly stench and barn-like character of life in the world. But this peasant baby becomes the One who restores creation and humanity to God’s graceful acceptance and attributes. That is “altaring,” or lifting life’s circumstances to God’s altar of transformation for good.

Pastor Josh has accepted a call to a congregation in the Midwest that already seems to realize the unique gifts and strengths he brings to ministry. Surely as time progresses, the congregants will grow in their appreciation of his leadership. While we feel the pain of his separation from Fairmont, we can rejoice that he is where others will benefit from his keen analytical abilities and commitment, as he, no doubt, will benefit from his new congregation’s capabilities to foster his own continued growth. “Altaring” is how the light continues to shine through the wintry darkness.

The past year included two separate struggles with kidney stones requiring five trips to the ER and three surgeries for yours truly. These were extremely painful and unpleasant times. But even here there were glimpses of light in the darkness: a loving wife’s never-failing care, concern expressed by other friends and family, and a primary care physician who, along with his staff, pulled out all the stops to make prompt medical expertise available. One time, when the misery was too intense for words, I went to see the dear, good Dr. Ang, and while examining me, he placed his hand on my shoulder and said softly, “You are really having a rough time, aren’t you!” Having such recognition of one’s struggle is “altaring.” It lifts the darkness and lets healing light shine through.

Polly continues as the HR Director of a social service agency with nearly 300 employees. It is a sometimes chaotic position, and often she can be heard to say that she walks a fine line between loyalty and stupidity (she is past retirement age). She will return home from the office today having had to deal with a serious personnel issue on top of other unending details, and she’ll be showing the tell-tale signs of the stress that accompanies her profession. My hope is that something about our life together and our home is “altaring” for her, and that amid the soft glow of Christmas tree and window lights there is peace.

Polly’s mom is staying with us now due to advancing forgetfulness and other lapses related to advancing aging. “Grandma” or “Gwam” as Trevor and I most often refer to her, has made the transplantation fairly well. (Her dog, “Sadie,” came along, and while she is willing to get along with our cat “Molly,” the cat has decided to go into attack mode, growling, hissing and chasing the dog whenever it dares to get too close.) Sometimes Grandma realizes she needs to be in a setting where she is helped to remember to eat, take her medicine, etc., and other times she’s just visiting and will be returning to her home soon. It’s sad when a woman who has always been a highly responsible, take-charge individual reaches such a time of dependency. She who has taken care of so many others, both as a nurse and a good neighbor, is now having to be cared-for, and that’s disconcerting, to say the least. Perhaps that there are those around who can do for her as she has done for others is helping to “altar” the situation into something that more nearly incarnates God’s care. If so, then it would be the same kind of “altaring” care I received from Gwam and Pop during teenage years when dating and marrying their daughter—care that in significant ways made them more my parents than my biological parents. That Gwam continues to delight in beauty, recall significant events from the distant past, play with Sadie, and even laugh at herself may be indicators of “altaring” grace.

Good friend—actually more brother than friend, Dr. William L. Roberts—is waging a mighty battle with what has been diagnosed as terminal cancer. Amazingly, the breaks in between the chemo treatments still find Bill and lawyer, Tom Patrick, designing what promises to be a breakthrough approach in adapting coin of the realm mediation principles and practice for churches, work that unfortunately is sorely needed these days. Not only so, but Bill continues to work with selected individuals as they struggle toward more wholeness and less woundedness (yes, Microsoft Word, I know that’s not a word—get over it). Once again, the darkness continues to be “altared” through the following of one’s sense of call, one’s commitment to do good, one’s faithful passion.

Son Trevor is still living with us out of economic necessity. As some of you are aware, he developed seizure disorder as a freshman in college and that along with other complications sent him into a tailspin that took years to straighten out. His seizure disorder is controlled with medication, and this past year he completed with distinction an educational program in the medical technology field. He currently works with mentally challenged individuals assisting them in learning ways to live up to reasonable expectations in daily life. We have learned from people outside our home of Trevor’s helpfulness to others in critical situations. Here too, perhaps, are signs of life being “altared,” being made holy through God’s working in another’s helpful influence.

Well, those seem to be the more significant things roused up by reflection over the past year since Christmas last. Obviously, there are many of life’s daily little happenings that “altar” what otherwise would be dismal, drab, dull days: telephone calls with friends, breakfast with clergy at McAteer’s or lunch and outings with other friends, reading new books (and sometimes rereading good old books), serious conversations with persons about personal or global issues that matter, occasional sessions at the piano or reed organ demonstrating just how rusty I have become, and adapting to my role as house husband since my retirement, to mention a few.

Tomorrow, Friday, Dec. 23, Polly’s brother, Fred, and his wife, Sue, along with their two daughters and their husbands and grandchild, Gavin, will be visiting for our Christmas get-together, and we are excited they are coming. Could it be that once again the day will bring an awareness of how life can be “altared”? It seems to happen most for me in times of being with the significant persons in my life. I wonder if that is true for others. Whether or not that is so, we hope that whatever your circumstances in this holy season, there may come glimpses of life “altared” with the joy, hope, love and peace that is of God.