Edna "Enne" Lorene Cunningham Friend

NOTE: I was asked by good friends Larry Friend and Sharon Peterson to officiate at the funeral of his mom today in Parkersburg, WV.  Below are scripture readings with reflections that comprised the "message" part of the service.

A Service of Celebration and Remembrance for

Edna “Enne” Lorene Cunningham Friend

Leavitt Funeral Home, Parkersburg, WV

Noon, June 9, 2013

Let us now turn our attention to the witness of the Hebrew Scriptures, first to the very familiar 23^rd Psalm, remembering with the Psalmist that God is our Shepherd.  This Psalm, obviously derived from a shepherd’s experience, is rather curious.  Recalling how for most of Israel’s history shepherds were seen as insignificant at best and as objects to be scorned at worst, that any shepherd could have felt as important and of value to God as the one who wrote this Psalm is inconceivable.  Yet, the affirmations in his Psalm attest to that fact:  “I shall not want.”  “I will fear no evil.”  “He restores my soul.”  “My cup runs over.”  “Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”  The entire Psalm radiates a kind of inner confidence and poise.

Further reflection leads us to realize that the regard of the shepherd for the sheep is undeserved.  All a sheep has to do to gain this kind of status with the shepherd is to be itself.  Be a sheep!

Does it follow then that the only prerequisite we as human beings have for being of immeasurable importance to God is to be ourselves, to be just as we are, the persons we were created to be?  Certainly, Edna Cunningham Friend, or “Enne” as she was known to her family, was the person she was meant to be.  No doubt, it was her gentle spirit and pleasant, unassuming manner that you most appreciated about her.  She was a woman who didn’t need to push her way to the front of the line or in other ways draw attention to herself.  Quietly, even modestly, she went about her daily responsibilities providing practical help where she could and following the paths of righteousness as best she could.

She surely faced times of hardship and difficulty, valleys of the shadow of death, but such times could not crush her loving kindness and courteous, friendly manner.  Even in the last months when advancing impairment was taking its toll, her pleasant demeanor unfailingly persisted.  In geriatrics, there is a saying, “As we age, we don’t change; we just become more of what we already are.”  Clearly, that was true of “Enne.”

As the Psalmist could sing of not being in want and being surrounded by lush green pastures and streams of flowing water, so “Enne” derived similar abundance and joy from her family and neighbors, delighting in all the responsibilities and thrills of life with you.

She had a ball with you, whether

• Preparing the great Thanksgiving feast on the farm,
• Or telling stories while cutting your hair,
•  Or traveling with her husband, Owen, far and wide (though the truth be known, she  would rather have stayed at home)
•   Or on rare occasions when she was cooking and something went wrong, emanating from the kitchen would be the shouting of the four-letter equivalent of “Oh, fertilizer!”
• Or patiently and wisely listening when a family member or friend needed to talk, offering advice only when requested,
• Or performing her miracle of peacemaking when disruptions arose among the children and grandchildren.

“Enne” had a ball with you!  She was an artist in creating beauty in her life with you.

So as a witness to her faithfulness to who she was, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, aunt, neighbor and friend, let us hear again Psalm 23, remembering that as a sheep is of value to the shepherd just by being itself, so “Enne” is of value and worth because she was very true to herself, the person she was meant to be:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

He leadeth me beside still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his names sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

Thy rod and staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

Thou anointest my head with oil;

My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

 

Another passage from the Hebrew Scriptures that expresses something of who “Enne” was appears in these lines from the author of Proverbs:

A virtuous wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm,

all the days of her life.

She rises while it is still night

and provides food for her household.

She opens her hand to the poor,

and reaches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid for her household when it snows,

for all her household are wrapped in two cloaks.

She makes her own coverings,

and clothing of fine linen and purple.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household,

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

 Her children rise up and call her happy;

her husband too, praises her:

“Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all.”

 Give her a share in the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the city gates.

 A family member wrote these lines in tribute to “Enne,” which contain striking parallels to the passage just read from Proverbs:

“Her passion was her family.  She came from a gentle people of Scots-Irish heritage—she grew up in a loving family with two sisters and seven brothers.  All were good, decent people who valued family above all else.  She was part of a close-knit rural community that helped each other—she was the neighborhood hairdresser, cutting and styling hair for several of her girlfriends.  She was an expert seamstress, making most of her own clothes and for others in her family.

“Edna was a devoted wife to her husband, Owen, and mother to her children Larry and Sharon.

 “She was committed to keeping a clean house and clean kids, helped her kids with homework—even helped Larry write a poem for a class assignment that got raving comments from the teacher.

 “Her cooking and baking were top-notch—her fried chicken, cheesecake, spaghetti sauce, and mincemeat are particularly memorable.  She loved cooking for family when all gathered at the family farm in Smithville.  She saw that as her purpose in life—to care for her family.

“She was a trusted confidante to children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews—they came to her with their problems and she was a caring listener and advisor.

“She never had a bad word to say about anyone and she seldom said a bad word.  Hers was a calming presence in the home.  She supported others and defended them when others criticized them.”

 Another member of the family spoke with deep gratitude about how “Enne’s” tireless care for her husband was returned by him when the tables were turned and “Enne’s” health was declining.  Owen now became the care-giver to his wife of 72 years, thus enabling her to stay in their home until the day she died.  Assisted by the superb services of Housecalls Hospice, “Enne” lived out her days in what is the true symbol of her being and joy in life.

 It is not good that “Enne” suffered.  It is good that her suffering is over.  And it is very good that she lived!  Thanks be to God.

 PRAYER

Gracious God of love, we praise you for the great goodness we have witnessed in the life of Edna Cunningham Friend.  The years slip through our minds like minutes when we think of her, and remembering the days we have had with her, we thank you for the providence that let us call her wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, aunt, neighbor and friend.  For her faithfulness in relationships and her genuine care for others, for her steadfastness in the surging flood of daily duties and her unswerving perseverance in the face of overwhelming obstacles, for the delight she derived from her family and her enjoyment of life, for the times when her husband, Owen, and other family members and friends could share her burdens or smooth her road or ease her pain, these thoughts and memories are precious to us, O God, and we speak our gratitude for all that we have shared with “Enne.”

 Help us, O God, to know that “Enne” is safe in the loving embrace of your everlasting arms, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, and that she is at peace now and forever.  Through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.